Problems with Lack of Sexual Desire
Inhibited Sexual Desire (ISD)

Do you have any of the following issues?

  • Have you or your partner lost interest in sex?
  • Are you or your partner, too tired, too distracted or not in the mood?
  • Has "Not tonight Dear" turned into weeks, month or years of no sex?
  • Do you or your partner feel frustrated hurt, angry about the lack of sex?
  • Do you and your partner disagree on how often to have sex?
  • Is your relationship suffering?

If you answered "Yes" to these questions, you are not alone. The most common sexual problem in America today is ISD -- inhibited sexual desire.

Who has Inhibited Sexual Desire?

Millions of Americans face this problem, including men and women:

  • suffering from depression -- which leads to loss of desire
  • sexual performance anxiety -- by a partner who has failed to perform
  • who have differences in the level of desire for sex
  • achievement-oriented, two-career couples who are to exhausted to have sex
  • married couples with strict religious backgrounds
  • newlyweds with little sex information and limited sex experience
  • singles who find it difficult to find a partner or fear sexual diseases

What is Inhibited Sexual Desire?

Lack of Sexual Desire - (Inhibited Sexual Desire, ISD )
Other terms: hypoactive sexual desire; sexual apathy; sexual aversion

Inhibited sexual desire is one of the most common complaints of couples seeking sex therapy. ISD refers to the lack of sexual appetite or response, together with a low rate of sexual activity. They usually do not fantasize about sex or initiate sex.

There are usually underlying psychological issues with ISD, such as avoidance of sexual contact because of fear of rejection, performance anxiety, embarrassment, fear of criticism or body image concerns. A person with ISD often participates in intercourse only as a marital duty. Affection is sometimes withheld, because there is a fear it might lead to the other partner starting sexual activity.

Sexual aversion, the most extreme form of ISD, is characterized by a person finding sex distasteful or repulsive. This person may have been traumatized by past experiences, such as molestation or rape.

ISD occurs in both men and women and can cause emotional distress or serious relationship problems. When one person is less interested in sex that the other, it can be a source of conflict, communication problems and power struggles.

Sex Therapy /relationship counseling and psychotherapy can help resolve this condition before the relationship becomes further strained.

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Carol Boulware, MFT, Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage, Family Therapist - #MFT11632
EMDR Certified Therapist- Level II- 1994
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Board Certified Expert in Traumatic Stress
Somatic Experiencing Practitioner
ABS Certified Sex Therapist #1466
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